Article 7 2005

INSPIRITRIX.COM

Article 7, 2005

I’ll Think About It Tomorrow

“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.”
—Ovid

For years, I had a habit of worrying about the past and reworking bad situations over and over again in my head, all in an effort to make them come out right somehow. “I should have said this,” or “If I had only walked away without opening my mouth,” or “Why didn’t I do this?” would be the phrases that tortured me. Of course, my efforts were in vain and I would be left, once again, to relive the devastation of the original outcome.

“You can’t dwell on the past,” was a sentence I would hear from friends frequently and come to hate. The word “dwell” made me feel guilty, as if I was choosing to linger in the past and think about those things when it felt more like the thoughts just popped into my mind uninvited and I was then obligated to deal with them. Well, they may have popped in uninvited, but I didn’t have to let them camp out. It is easy to fool ourselves into thinking that it is helpful, perhaps for dealing with some similar future crisis more successfully, to replay our conflicts over and over again, but it isn’t. It’s a bad habit and I was choosing it.

Fortunately, during a stay in Australia, I noticed that the Aussies frequently used the word “dramas” to describe situations we might refer to as arguments or upsets. For some reason, I really liked that word. Maybe it was just the way it sounded dancing off an Australian tongue. In any event, it was the beginning of a new year and I decided to make a change— I vowed that, for a period of two weeks, every time those horrid replays would start to run in my head, I would gently remind myself that there would be, “No reliving dramas.”

During those two weeks. I found that I could actually do it without much effort IF I reassured myself that I could always think about it at the end of the two weeks if I still needed to—a little trick I adapted from the irrepressible Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With The Wind. Finally, her famous proclamation, “Oh fiddle-dee-dee, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” made perfect sense to me. What better thing to postpone than worry?

As the time went by, I began to feel enormous relief, the worrying came less and less, and I started having a lot more fun. However, I also realized that I needed to continue the process a little longer to make sure it stuck with me, so I committed to doing it for the entire month. During the second two weeks, I found that there would be days that my body would absolutely rebel and I would just have to have a good cry about some of the situations, but then I quickly moved back into my “No reliving dramas” mode. Happily, by the end of the month, I was consistently able to choose peace of mind.

Staying on track with your life goals requires similar habit replacing, and experts agree that thirty days seems to be the key to getting it deep down inside. As you think about your goals, take a few minutes to answer the following questions:

What, if any, are some of your habits that have been interfering with or keeping you from going for your dreams?

Changing which one would make the most significant difference?

What new practice could you use to replace an old habit? For example, singing an upbeat song the minute you feel overwhelmed, or practicing the piano instead of lighting up a cigarette.

What good habits do you already have and what ones would you like to develop?

Finally, how will it change your life if you change just one habit that isn’t serving you well in to one that does?

Don’t Worry. Be Happy!


	“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?” —Shantideva

© Copyright 2003-2005 by Robin Wilder. All rights reserved. Please honor this copyright. While this publication is intended for mass distribution, it's not to be altered in any way. You may copy it for your personal use or forward it to people whom you feel may benefit from receiving it, or you may post it to any newsgroups or forums, provided you copy or post it in the same form as it was originally published and the signature and copyright information are included in full. Editors and publishers are free to reprint this article as long as it's reprinted in its entirety and the signature and copyright information are included in full. If you have any questions or comments, please send us an email or visit
www.inspiritrix.com for additional contact information.

Articles
Products

Privacy / Mustpar 65 Store / Contact Info / Associate Links
The Monday Muse blog