Article 2 2007

INSPIRITRIX.COM

Article 2, 2007

LOVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”
—Lucille Ball

A person’s opinion of you is not more important than your own opinion of yourself. That said, in order to fill our lives with the kind of love we desire from other people, it is imperative that we give it to ourselves first. That may seem totally backward and the complete opposite of what we’ve been taught, but that is exactly how it works.

How we feel about ourselves determines the quality of love we receive from others in our lives. If we received messages growing up that we weren’t loved or valued, we may have some work to do to overcome those hurts, but overcome them we must. As Dr. Phil McGraw says, “You teach people how to treat you,” so fall in love with the wonderful creation that you really are and you will magnetize in people who see you as wonderful too. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you and you will naturally gravitate to those who see you as worthy of great love and respect, and you will easily distance yourself from those who treat you as “less than.”

There was a wonderful lesson about this depicted on the television show “Starting Over,” in which one of the female housemates was instructed to scoop water out of a large barrel and to walk across a tennis court and dump it into another barrel. She was first given a small glass with which to do this. Then, one by one, the other housemates came up and offered to help by giving her increasingly larger containers. The problem was each of the subsequent containers had holes in them, which resulted in most of the water being lost on her walks across the court. As you might imagine, this made a big mess of her clothes, shoes and the court and caused her great frustration. Finally, her life coach came up and asked, “Why didn’t you just say no to their offers when you saw it wasn’t working?” What was her reply at the end of it all? “I was just about to.”

This was a great visual demonstration of how we think we have to take what’s offered us even if it’s inferior. The heart of the lesson was about filling ourselves up with love, even if it’s in small increments and looks like it will take a long time, and about valuing ourselves enough to say, “No thanks” to those who offer help with their proverbial buckets with holes in them, those who make us lose what we need more than give us what we need. We can apply this principle to friends, family, love relationships, clients, colleagues, coworkers, and even jobs and homes.

Desperation is a toxic energy that others can sense and will either avoid or exploit. Perceive yourself as valuable NOW, with or without the circumstance of your dreams. Love yourself. Take an inventory of all the things that are wonderful about you, so you will know what you bring to the table. Respect yourself. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Value yourself. Express yourself honestly and risk being judged or criticized for being open. Take a stand for yourself. Don’t be impressed by other people as the source of anything, and you will find that you are able to surround yourself with people who love you. Those people will be worthy of your love.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
—Buddha

© Copyright 2007 by Robin Wilder. All rights reserved. Please honor this copyright. While this publication is intended for mass distribution, it's not to be altered in any way. You may copy it for your personal use or forward it to people whom you feel may benefit from receiving it, or you may post it to any newsgroups or forums, provided you copy or post it in the same form as it was originally published and the signature and copyright information are included in full. Editors and publishers are free to reprint this article as long as previous written notice is given (email is acceptable) and it is reprinted in its entirety with the signature and copyright information included in full. If you have any questions or comments, please send us an email or visit www.inspiritrix.com for additional contact information.

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